hey guys just started xanga....

to make it quite clear from the start i didnt want a lot of ppl to read my site cuz i regard it as a lame way to waste time....i only write this blog to help myself remember what i hv done, what i was going thru ...and to look back, .....reflect

i wont spent ages decorating my frontpage either....cuz its another waste of time....plus i think i hv already wasted far 2 much time in my life.

got quite depressed this  past week..... as a result of a rejection from sth i really wanted to do. u see.....i am not rejected that often. like....in the past i rise against the odds so many times to get sth i really wanted: PB, speech team, opening day tour guide, US summer skools (hell i even once turned down probably the best summer program in the world), maths scholar, hague team.....i mean... just to name a few.

but now this is sth i really wanted... sth that represents a lot more than the stuff above....(at least thats what i think) really down now...

i mean...... what do i mean to where i live now?? i dont know....everytime i look around the house there is so many talented ppl around....everyone has sth they are really good at....i mean *really* ......and look at me~~ u know what i mean. i dont know....i might just hv wasted 2 much time in the past.....there are so much time i spent on doing things that are unrewarding, unproductive. i could hv spent more time on b ball, piano....i dont know

anyways i am wasting too much time here again....really gotta go and do some prep. thx for everyone who took their precious time to read this pointless entry...hope u enjoyed it.....this one is reallly monumental for me.

21103, purpose of existence: Spanish prep